What the fuck makes a hotel ‘kink-inspiring’? Well, that’s a really good question and I’m trying to give my personal opinions here. You will not find any of these on your typical list of kink-themed hotels. Quite to the contrary, most of them are very upscale hotels; something that actually makes being naughty all the more exciting.

First of all, what makes a hotel kink-inspiring? (You see, I dropped ‘the fuck’ to blend into the up-scale environment…) There are some hotels that create a distinct adult atmosphere. In reviews, they often don’t do so well, because ratings get dragged down by business travelers who find some of the essentials missing. But that’s one way of making sure that time is devoted to kink and fun, not work.

Then there are hotels that have all the amenities to get naughty. A pool, sauna, spa, all exclusively for hotel guests, guarantees some privacy an opportunities to get kinky. Surprisingly, this includes quite a few upscale hotels, though typically ones that are smaller and don’t cater to large groups of tourists. Getting kinky when a group of 12-year-olds is about to come around the corner, is really not much fun.

So here are some places I found particularly naughty…

So/Sofitel in St. Petersberg, Russia. Just as an aside, while one hotel in a chain may be very kinky, another may be just the opposite. So what qualifies this hotel as making it on my kink-list? There are a very private pool and spa area in the basement. Few people ever go there and the staff is more than accommodating. Getting some quiet time late in the evening is easy.

The lobby welcomes you with home-made cocktails. The bar, facing the street, is used to support local artists by displaying rather eccentric artwork. Women in blindfolds, corsets, or ridiculously high heels (and that’s coming from me) would not be out of the ordinary. It all says, ‘dare me’.

The rooms ooze sex appeal. You may guess that a separate bathtub is a must for me. Where else would I get to relax with my gas mask on? Then there needs to be spaces for some outdoor fun. The So/ in St. Petersburg has a fabulous terrace with a view right at St. Isaac’s Cathedral. If you’re into sex and church, this is your late-night spot.

Finally, the staff, unflappable, even at the sight of a latex clad woman, and exceptionally helpful in opening doors that guests shouldn’t even get into. Getting kinky is all about bending rules. Here, bending rules is the rule!

The Standard, Highline, New York. This one may appear on some of the kinkier lists. It’s big draw are the floor to ceiling window located right above the Highline Park — a converted old train track that passes right underneath the hotel. A lot of hotels have floor to ceiling windows these days, but few allow an unvarnished view from the outside in. Leave the lights on, and it’s an exhibitionists dream.

But The Standard is also known for hosting lavish celebrity parties at the Top of the Standard – the in-house bar and party space. Entry is not for the plain clothed. Dress like Kim Kardashian, and you’re likely to get in. This is a place to go all out, whatever your kink. Just don’t be normal! You’ll be rewarded with 360 degree views of the lower part of Manhattan up to the Empire State Building.

You may find the occasional tourist, though they tend to quickly realize that stepping into the elevator is a bizarre, weed-infused, experience. And that’s before other guests enter. Videos that can only be described as visions of a sexy hell, accompany you to your floor.

Hotel Provocateur, Berlin. A small boutique hotel, it is the embodiment of a 1920 burlesque-style. Plenty of red velvet, dark corners, cocktail drinks that may just include the word ‘orgasm’ in it, and stylish, fetish artwork leave little doubt. The hotel does not aspire to cater to business travelers. Nor does it encourage families. You’re almost assured to be among consenting adults only.

It’s a great place to make use of it. While the rooms play erotic videos on demand, offer plenty of anchor points for bondage games (none obvious, but I have a feeling deliberate nevertheless), public humiliation is more than welcome in the bar. Yes, I had to go to the bartender with a leash hanging down from my color to order the next round of drinks. He didn’t even comment on my catsuit.

Turns out, quite a few of the employees also work at the infamous Berlin night clubs. If you don’t have any plans for 2:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m., they’ll be able to direct you to the right club.

Hotel Hassler, Rome. This one will definitely not show up on any kinky list. It’s one of the iconic hotels in Rome, sitting atop the Spanish Steps. What make this hotel so kinky is that service is absolutely superb! Imagine, a late evening dinner for two, but you want some privacy. Turns out, there are tucked away terraces where private dinners can be arranged.

No matter the time of year, you get what you want. In fact, the more extraordinary your requests, the more excited staff. While I was there, Angelina Jolie stayed there as well, and we all know that she is into a shitload of kinky stuff.

Anyone who enters this hotel is presumed to be a celebrity, that’s how you get away with pretty much anything. No questions asked, everyone is extremely discreet. What goes on inside, stays inside. And if you want to take it outside, just keep it stylish. Besides, when you have Rome at your feet, there are more than a few kinky thoughts crossing your mind; including ones your never thought you’d want to try. Who wouldn’t want to be a slave girl auctioned off to the highest bidder?