Breathe and stay kinky

There are a thousand reasons to feel depressed. And there is just one reason to stay kinky. It’s so easy to get swept up in daily news, madness, insanity, and genuine human tragedy. This will continue for a while. Trying to keep up with it, to think that it will all be different tomorrow, is delusional.

I’ve struggled to keep my head straight. When I think about where I thought I’d be at this point in my life, and where I in reality am, I don’t even recognize the world anymore. I’m trying hard to bring the core of who I am back to the surface. The fun, teasing, outgoing, caring, nurturing, compassionate, smart, curious, entertaining, creative, and kinky Francesca. Sorry for the self-aggrandizement, though after what we’re going through, I believe we all deserve to think the best of ourselves.

Like so many others, I’ve been feeling more than a bit out of sorts. I don’t even know anymore whether I’m a sub, or maybe feel more like a switch, whether I am seeking a D/s relationship, or keep my kinkiness as a quiet bonus for when it comes in handy.

All of these labels don’t really make much sense anymore. The world is passing me by in ways that makes a mockery of any ‘plans’ or ‘labels’. Everything is amplified during the pandemic. The choices we make, the stress we experience, the strain on relationships. The challenge of being who we think we are.

So, I’ve asked myself what grounds me.

Kink. I may sound like a broken record, but I’m just not missing the football season, Formulate 1 races, or the latest movie releases. I can happily go without them (as long as I can see the good movies while lying in my bed…). I’ve started getting back into being a bit naughty, thinking about what I’ll do next, what I want to try. For now, I’m obsessed with getting back into my corsets.

Summer is a difficult time to wear catsuits. It’s just getting too hot and I don’t have the time to care for them the way I should. But wearing my corsets again, even if they don’t close the way they used to, is a good start. It gives me a goal, and brings out the ambitious competitor in me.

I had hoped to use the German Fetish Ball in September as my motivator, to find myself again. Unfortunately, there won’t be one in 2020. Even in places where the pandemic is much more controlled than it is here, large gatherings are unlikely to happen this year. So, I’m looking for another motivator, not that I need much to pull out some of my favorite gear.😊

Relocating back to Germany will be a major endeavor, although one I look forward to. There are a lot of upsides to it, not the least is the acceptance of fetishes in the general public. Could I stand in London or Berlin in the city center wearing a catsuit, boots, and a corset? Of course! Could I just let the world pass me by, push the madness out of my life, and seek some shelter to spend a few months the way I thought I would? Of course!

And that’s exactly what I intend to do. I can’t change the world, but I can keep the world from changing me. The way to being a kinky mom may not be what I thought six months ago, but a kinky mom I will be.

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13 thoughts on “Breathe and stay kinky

  1. So happy to ‘see’ you re-grounding yourself! Kudos Francesca!
    Can’t wait to read through your next conquests and achievements ..including the move home.

    1. Thanks, Kerry. That’ll be another adventure. I’m feel bad about neglecting my blog a bit lately, but I hope that will change once I’ve settled back into a more permanent place. xoxo

  2. Good for you! I struggle with my roles, but all of them are important pieces of my identity. It is possible to feed them all…juat not at once. The thing I have the hardest time with is balance.

    1. Thanks, Brigit. If you ever figure out the key to keeping the right balance in your life, let me know. I thought I was doing fine, but this whole Covid thing is really throwing me off. It’s hard.

  3. I am relieved to hear you grounding yourself as you make your choices for the present and into the near future. I can only lust after your being your playful, fun, creative, wild, nurturing et al self again and in new ways as “kinky mom” emerges. I hope you keep blogging so I can at least vicariously enjoy your finding pleasure and joy again. Hold on to yourself. May you find the inner strength and wisdom to keep being your self and withstand the forces of a world trying to change you.
    So good for you! Kink on, Mom Francesca, Kink on.

    1. Oh, I have every intention of keeping up the blog and sharing my adventures. There just isn’t that much kinky stuff going on at the moment. But, I have every reason to believe that will eventually change. Then this blog will probably also become a bit more active again. Thanks for sticking with me in the meantime!

  4. “I can’t change the world, but I can keep the world from changing me.”
    Go you! This is a very good motto to have and I am happy to see you are finding a way to be grounded again!
    ~ Marie

    1. Thanks, Marie. It’s taken me a while, but for now, I think we all just have to accept that the world is a bit different from what we’re used to. Trying to figure out how to make it what it used to just lead to insanity. So, I’m chilling a bit more, disrupted by diaper changes….

  5. I can relate to so many of your frustrations here and I also feel trapped by what has been happening. I have no idea how you have managed with all of the change that you have been dealing with so well done you – that is some achievement. One of the trips we had planned this year was to Berlin so one good thing is that maybe by the time we get to go you will be settled and can give us the lowdown on where to do for the ultimate kinky experience 🙂

    1. 😀😀😀 You’ll have so much fun in Berlin! Right now, the clubs are still closed because there is no way to enforce social distancing restrictions. Besides, that would sort of defeat the point. I’m tracking the daily infection numbers. When they’re consistently below 100, then most of the restrictions will be lifted. Germany is at about 250 at the moment.

      Apart from that, I’m not sure I’ve managed it as well as it seems. I’ve made it through (almost) and that’s what counts. A lot of things have had to take a backseat, including keeping up my blog on a regular basis. But we’re all in the same boat. As long as we’re staying healthy, I’m increasingly optimistic that we will find a way again where we can all live our lives the way we’d like. xoxoxo

    1. I’m trying hard, although it’s a challenge. I feel guilty for not having been in touch more. It’s been a bit more overwhelming than I had anticipated. I’ll send you a DM with more of an update. 🧡🧡🧡

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