I need to chill.

I don’t think I’ve ever been as stressed out as I’ve been as last few days. COVID cases in the US are rising steeply, now we’re back where we were at the end of April. And while I try to avoid paying attention to politics, even wearing a mask is politicized.

I feel like retreating into my shell and staying closed off from the rest of the world. At the same time, I’m making a last ditch effort to find a job here, although the prospects are dim. That means for me getting ready to move back to Germany at the end of the summer.

It’s hard to believe how life, and the world, has changed since I was in Barbados two years ago. Life was simple, chill, relaxed. The water blue, and a rainbow after the regular afternoon rain. There is no way to roll back time, but if I could, that’s where I’d be right now. A glass of rum punch, and chilling in the sun.

But pushing reality aside is becoming more difficult by the day. Even if I want to, I’d feel safer with my face mask, a serious face mask that allows me to hide from the outside.

Sinful Sunday

16 thoughts on “I need to chill.

    1. Sorry for the late reply. It is really sad, and seems to be getting worse. I’m not sure the US is able to function as a country anymore.

  1. Yeah considering our most senior “leadership” just tried cramming 20,000 people into a building (and only got 6,200) that just shows.

    1. Sorry for the late reply – the only good thing was that a lot of people apparently were smart enough not to show up in the first place. But it’s still getting worse by the day and nobody at the top gives a shit.

  2. I find that your self-portrait of your engaging in positive breathplay as you breathe in and out through your mask, under the hope filled rainbow, surrounded by the healing oceanic blues and greens is calming. Your water washed body glistens and looks relaxed as you rest in the bathtub, echoing the nurturing and power-filled ocean behind you. Be one with your yourself, your comforting mask, your breathing in new life-giving work and lifestyle.
    I find that my going into my masked breathing strengthens and comforts me. I trust that you will find the strength, comfort, and hope which carries you into your future.

    1. You’re absolutely right, It’s actually like an escape from all that’s wrong right now. I don’t get to do it much lately, but when I do, it’s almost like a vacation from reality.

  3. I can’t tell you how much I want to travel back and spend some time away from home in somewhere beautiful and forget this new world for a while.

    1. I feel the same way. I’ve been reading all the EU travel restrictions and their criteria for returning EU citizens. So far, it looks like even if there is a travel ban for the US, I may be able to return if needed.

  4. Agreed. This new world is not brave…it is a place most of us would, I think, like to leave behind for awhile. I wish you luck finding a job. This is a hard time for a lot of people in that regard.

    1. And the sad thing is that it didn’t have to be this way. Both in the US, the UK, and Sweden. That macho attitude fucked everyone over. I do have some options if I decide to go back to Germany, and so far, it looks like I may not be restricted from traveling back to my home country, even if there is a US travel ban.

  5. Yes the world is HARD right now and I worry about the situation in the USA a lot. I hope you find a job and get back to Germany soon


    1. I’ve studied all the EU guidelines for travel restrictions and it looks like I can return, even if there is a travel ban from the US. Then the only question is whether there are any flights. At this pace, I think it’s going to get a lot worse here before it gets better. Fortunately, where I live, the numbers keep declining. Now it’s in all the states that voted for Trump. It’s all so messed up here.

  6. This is a fantastic image, wow! I have been reading the news, and yes, I don’t think the USA is the safest place to be in at the moment. Things can change so rapidly, and it is so difficult to adapt when there aren’t a lot of options to improve anything. I hope you will find work and can stay put, because yet another change in your life seems like a lot to deal with.

    1. When the new infection numbers came out yesterday, and that’s with New York really having turned the corner, I was actually a bit shocked. I shouldn’t have been, but how stupid can people really be? I had a little panic attack and at the moment, I really don’t want to be here. I want to be in my bathtub….

    1. I’m doing a lot of daydreaming these days. Fortunately, I live in an area that’s sane and where the numbers are going down. But I have my return flight to Germany booked. At the moment still as a roundtrip, but that may change. xoxo

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