There is no sex without turning on the brain. Whatever stimulates the brain, triggers the rest of the body to respond. I’ve been using photography, professionally and privately, to express myself as a sexually submissive woman. For someone who loves a good fuck, it remains a fucking hard journey.
It started when I entered the escort business. Honestly, I looked very average at best; I had no idea how to hold myself, how to look or get any emotion into pictures. Not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that having a professional photographer telling me to look seductive doesn’t really work.
So, I practiced; by myself with just a Polaroid. The great thing about a Polaroid is that it can’t lie. It is what it is. I may not like it, but it’s what I look like at the moment. Some parts a great, others distorted. Nothing really the way I feel.
Looking at professional pictures, erotica, I didn’t feel much of a response. They were too overt, too sexual on their surface. Occasionally, there were pictures that showed raw sexual emotion. Those I love.
Trying to show that kind of emotion in pictures, at least for me, is hard. I can’t fake my emotions. Not during sex, not when taking pictures. I don’t moan during sex, I don’t scream from the top of my lungs when I have a fantastic orgasm. It just doesn’t happen.
It took me a long time to figure out that my style was much more subtle. Yes, I do love latex, but that’s just my kink. It’s not what makes a picture sexy or seductive. The ones that I love to shoot are like a deep look into my brain.
The ones that say ‘I’m yours, lead me, take me, and I will submit’. It’s not being tied-up in bondage, may not involve any sexual props at all. The perfect, seductive, picture is one where it’s a scene, almost a movie, captured in one image.
The picture tells the story, of romance, submission, what is to come. An insight into my brain’s state of mind. Honest, sincere, and genuinely me. That’s a tall order. It takes hundreds of shots to get one that I actually like. The most subtle differences, sometimes even just in the ambiance, can make or break a picture.
I’m still chasing the perfect picture. The one where I can see myself. Where I know what is going on in my brain, that I want to seduce others. This one, perhaps, comes closer than any other.
I have no idea who’s looking at this picture; I don’t see you, don’t read your mind. Maybe all you see is a dinner table and a person looking down at the table. But then you notice the romantic setting, the baroque clock in the background. Two wine glasses, the napkins sill neatly folded on the table.
She has her face partially covered by strains of slightly blond hair. There is no smile on her face; she is in her own world. Thinking. Although her posture is upright, her head is bowed. Then you notice her collar, barely visible. Her 0-ring firmly locked around her neck. She makes no attempt to hide it. For her, it is part of who she is; in private or in public.
Her hands delicately hold an empty glass. She’s still waiting. Waiting for what the evening may bring. Though she is already dressed for the unusual. The way her partner would want her to be seen in public. Elegant, and shameless. From the revealing cut-outs to the barely visible shimmer reflecting off the latex dress.
Your mind has to write the rest of this movie. She’s ready, her mind is ready. Ready to give herself, be the submissive to the viewer; and proud of it.