The situation in New York is grim. That’s probably putting it mildly. Being under strict orders to stay at home, avoid contact with other people, and practicing ‘social distancing’ takes its toll. Life without human interaction is not something I want to ever get used to.

It’s a new reality, though. At least for another couple of weeks. Staying sane, not feeling closed in within my four walls, takes some creativity. Here is one of many ways to feel more connected. I have always loved public humiliation. Or at least the adrenaline rush that comes with the possibility of humiliating myself.

In that way, doing all my classes on-line, is a totally new experience. Twenty something students all have their video cameras on at the same time, all being able to look at me sitting inside my apartment. Add a Professor to it, who can call on my and open up my camera and microphone remotely, there is no hiding.

It reminds me of going out in my favorite latex outfits and getting a thrill out of wondering what other people think. ‘Wow’, ‘Slut’, ‘Amazing’, ‘Whore’, anything but indifference. I become the center of attention, good or bad. Now it’s the same, just on-line.

I graduate in May. There will be no graduation ceremony. In all likelihood, I will never see many of the Professors or classmates again. Some, hopefully, will stay in touch. Either virtually, or eventually again in-person. That will all be after school is over.

Those who know me, are not surprised by my kinky side. They don’t know how far it goes, but they are tolerant enough, even supportive. It’s mostly the girls that find it cool when they hear bits of my life. None know me as I am. My past is a secret that I can write about in this space. My safe space. Although I let them see little glimpses from time to time.

I’ve figured out how to create my virtual background for video-conferences. There are some standard ones in Zoom, a beach scene, outer space, and some others. I’ve added a few of my own and have gotten a bit creative, daring, naughty; without going overboard. I hope.

This is a stock background, when I’m on the camera, it acts like a greenboard and superimposes myself onto the selected background. It’s actually pretty cool, and avoids having to clean up my background.

Lately, I have used a selection of other pictures. Nobody can see the part that is covered by me, but if I move, the background is in fully display. It’s a unique form of self-bondage. Nobody ties me to a chair, and yet, I have to remain in my position or else the background I have selected will be on full display for all the world to see!

Just a little lapse, picking something up from the floor, or having to lean to one side or the other, could spell disaster. I love any form of remote domination. This is one form where the persons, or persons on-line don’t even know they are forcing me to remain in my position.

I’ve used this one as a background recently. It works well when I wear a white blouse to make sure there is enough contrast. But if I am not careful, the collar and ring are quite visible. And should I step aside without turning the video off, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what they are looking at.

Even if I turn off the screen, the Professor can see that I have ‘disappeared’ and can remotely activate the screen again. That would be super humiliating. I love the idea. Maybe one day I’ll do it on purpose and see what happens.

Being inside all day is hard. But it’s the safe thing to do right now. And still, safe behavior can open up some opportunities for thrilling moments that I had never thought of before. They feed right into my kinks. One day, I’ll put up a more daring picture, but so far, I haven’t had the courage to do so. Just thinking about it, though, makes me almost come.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, I do come during class.

Masturbation Monday