Love, life, and lies – #tellmeabout #SB4MH #WickedWednesday #SinfulSunday

I’m nervous. Last time I saw her was at a high school reunion somewhere in Germany. She was the first girl I kissed. No other person taught me more about sex than she had. A year older, she was 16 and I was 15, seemed like a huge deal at the time. I looked up to her.

Now, I’m standing at the arrival area at JFK. The flight has already come in and she’s texting me. She’s nervous, too. We hadn’t seen each other in nearly 20 years. She was my first crush before I even knew what that meant. Then we drifted apart. She moved away from Berlin, got married, kids. I bumbled from one job to another before settling in.

A lot in my life happened as a result of her. Sexually. I was more confident, I knew my body better. And confidence carried over from girls to boys, from sex to work. She never used birth control. She followed the cycle of her body temperature. Both of her pregnancies were planned. She never got it wrong.

It’s been so long since I last saw her, I watch every person coming out thinking it could be her. Finally, she texts me a selfie. She has changed. Short hair, a bit of gray coming through. Maybe it’s just a bad selfie. She looked tired, worn out. Not just from the flight, more like life had used up her energy.

A few hours later, after she drops her bags at my place, we go out for a bite. It’s late. An awkward ‘so, how are you?’ turns more intimate as time passes. Gone is the drained face from the selfie. I tell her about my life in New York, how I left Germany.

She had gone to the US in high school the year after we were nearly inseparable. It wasn’t the same afterward. She had become, well, Americanized, while I flourished in the Berlin nightlife. And still, she always imagined a life away from home. I never really understood why.

We talk about our parents, her kids, her husband. Now I know why we lost touch. Her husband started drinking excessively after her second child was born. He became abusive. To the outside, he was Mr. Perfect. On the inside, it was hell for her.

Not in a million years had I thought she’d be in an abusive relationship. She was always the more mature one, the smarter one, the one who was going to become someone. Another two hours go by and she tells me about her childhood.

She was only four years old at the time. A family friend babysat her regularly. He was a good friend of her parents. And he molested her every time. She tried to tell her parents, but they wouldn’t believe her. So she endured years of molestation and then sexual abuse before she even had her period.

At some point, she became num to it. When the abuse by her husband began, she didn’t dare tell anyone. Now she’s telling me, even though we hadn’t seen each other in years. She always liked America.

It was a refuge for her; maybe it could have been any place but home. A place where bad things had not happened, where she was considered wild. In Germany, in her marriage, she retreated into her shell. Of all the people she knows, I’m not sure why she is telling me all this. I feel foolish when I realize she never told anyone without being dismissed. Not a single person who didn’t judge her first; by her looks, her many flings as a teenager, or the child who couldn’t tell fact from fiction.

During the early morning hours, we make it home. She climbs into bed with me. We talk about our pregnancies, she rubs my belly, then places her head on my tummy. Not long before there is a slight snore. She’s asleep, peaceful, happy.

Just a few hours had passed since I saw her selfie on my phone. Now she was the girlfriend I had when we were teenagers. Older, wiser, better, despite what life had thrown at us. Some friendships don’t change. They just mature, even when left alone.

That was a few weeks ago. We’ve already made plans to see each other again. We don’t know how and when, but details don’t matter. There is no other person in my life who I trust the way I trust her. It’s like time stands still when we see each other. We’ll always be teenagers, just better versions of ourselves.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked
tellmeabout
Sinful Sunday

33 thoughts on “Love, life, and lies – #tellmeabout #SB4MH #WickedWednesday #SinfulSunday

  1. What wonderful re-discoveries of your relationship and each of you rediscovering important parts of your selves that had seemed lost forever. I am so happy for you and the two of you.!!!

    1. It did make me feel much more connected with my childhood, how I grew up, and life just takes its turns in unpredictable ways. It felt good. xoxo

    1. And I miss it here in the US. Maybe it’s something that develops only at a certain stage in life. I don’t know. xo

    1. It’s sad, and also uplifting. It’s the kind of friendship that I have never really experienced since I moved to the US. I miss it. Just being able to pour my heart out without worrying what comes next. Sometimes, I use this blog for that purpose, but it’s not really a substitute for a true friend. xoxo

    1. Thanks, yes, we have every intention. She is divorced now, so…. xoxo
      Glad you like the picture. Being pregnant does have its benefits. 😊

    1. They are rare, I cannot think of another one like the one I have. I just hope we all have someone who is there for us, and the other way around, regardless of what has happened over the years. xoxo

  2. Loved your reunion story. I think we always look for the one person we can tell everything to without shame or fear. It is one of the most important connections to have and keep. Thank you very much.

  3. How beautiful. I lost contact with my best friend at school and when we met it turned out she had been abused by her husband. We never know what goes on in the relationships of others. I’m so glad you have reestablished that bond you had before.

    1. And this time we won’t let another 20 years pass. I’m glad you connected with your friend again. We all need friends. xoxo

  4. Oh my goodness – what a rollercoaster, both for you adjusting your ‘imagined perceptions’ about who she was and where she would go with her life, but for her too. A terrible start – poor thing that must really scar when your nearest and dearest don’t listen/ trust you to be truthful and others near to home are people to fear. That imprint often has an echo in later relationships.

    I’m so glad you could be there for her, to listen without judging (she found a great ally in you) do now you will have a touchstone in the last, key phase of your pregnancy. It seems meant to be.

    Thank you for sharing, I’m sure her experiences and resilience will resonate with and perhaps help others who read this.

    1. Thanks, Posy. I think this is one reason never to judge other people. We don’t know what happened to them, even when we think we know them. That she emerged as a loving mother of two children despite what she went through is nothing short of admirable. I hope it helps others. In particular, anyone who has ever been abused as a child. She is definitely a friend I will not let go of. xoxo

    1. It’s impossible to know what goes on in other peoples’ lives. Even when they are close. I’m just glad we’re in touch again.

  5. That is a stunning picture and I also really enjoyed reading about the relationship between them. I think that true friendship like this is very hard to find and then sustain. So many of my friendships have fallen away due to circumstance. I guess that’s the real test though 😊

    1. It would have been easy for us to put off seeing each other again. I’m glad we didn’t. You’re right, when they pass the test of time, they are something special. Glad you liked the picture! 🧡🧡🧡

Leave a Reply

Fetish Francesca Latex Non-Fiction

Latex, Latex, Latex – Doggy Style

Oh, god, how good it feels to have a normal life every once in a while again. Normal, of course, means being wrapped in latex, layer upon layer, straps, masks, corsets, and everything else I can imagine. This is the first of a series of posts I’m going to be writing about my recent photoshoot […]

Read More
Francesca Latex Non-Fiction

Excitement is building!

This is my first real post in a while. I won’t dwell on the past few months, most of us probably had a hard time. But it’s all getting better and I’m super thrilled about what going to happen in a few weeks. I have to go back in history a bit, though. If you’ve […]

Read More
Francesca

This is my Blog

Before you read any of my posts, read this one first. Not that it’s any better than the others, but it may just keep you from becoming addicted. Yes, it’s true, reading this blog is like a maze and some never escape. At least that’s what I heard. I won’t tell you much about myself; […]

Read More
%d bloggers like this: