I read yesterday a couple of posts on why different bloggers are writing. One was so well articulated, grounded in years of personal experience, to make the word ‘pontificating‘ sound not pompous, but inspiring. I’m not there. I don’t have the life-experience, have not had years of personal relationships, and have instead been involved in what is more likely to be described as “questionable” professions.

There is not much where I would claim to have an opinion, a point of view, or an insight that is worth anyone’s attention. And still, three months ago, I started my first blog, clueless what I was getting myself into. I had not thought about why I was blogging, what I wanted to focus on, who my audience was, or how frequently I wanted to put up a post. I still don’t know. And yet, the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive in every way.

Somehow, what I’m posting, consciously or not, seems to resonate.

When I read Floss’s ‘pontificating’ post, I sat down and started thinking why I’m blogging. I drew blank after blank. Honestly, I still don’t know why I’m sitting here, writing, but I’m getting there. The way I’m getting there is to engage with people I might never have known. Those who I exchange DMs with that hit on something. Others who leave comments that strike a core. Or when I read other posts and a small light bulb goes off in my head.

You can call it a journey of self-discovery. I know what I love, but why do I feel the need to share any of it with others? I think I’m beginning to figure it out. At least I have a couple of thoughts that have stuck with me so far.

Reality. I love latex, fetish, bondage, D/s themes, even though I have never been in a long-term relationship where I have been able to explore the deeper aspects that go along with a D/s relationship.

I have, by virtue of my own past, done everything I write about (except for some pieces that I put up for fun that are entirely fiction). What I have come to realize more clearly through some of the interactions I’ve had, is that your typical photo-shopped, glamorized fetish model is nice to look at, but in most cases, there is no personal connection. Most pictures focus on the fetish, rather than what drives a person to enjoy it.

In my experience, a love of latex, call it a fetish, is often equated with freaks who post pictures taking their latex love to an extreme. Rarely does anyone ever see how a regular person can just enjoy wearing latex. It doesn’t even have to involve sex. Fine wine will do.

If I look at my Instagram account, the most well liked-pictures are snapshots taken with my phone. Other pictures, where I had a professional photographer, are OK, but they don’t get the same resonance. Similarly, one of my pictures got picked up on the IG feed of a well known latex manufacturer. It easily beats virtually all the professionally done pictures with professional fetish models. That made me wonder.

Loving something that would make anyone a pervert, a freak, a scumbag by our social standards, is attached with a certain degree of guilt. Why is almost every site that shows men or women in latex an adult site? There are thousands of them.

If there is one thing I’m trying to do with my blog, it is to ‘translate’ the fetish, freak, the pervert, into a normal human being. So, I open up about myself. Talk about why I have fallen in love with a fetish, what I enjoy about it.

What I hope to convey is that behind the glamour, the almost unreachable fetish model, is a real person. Someone who by and large lives a very normal, regular life. Not much different from others. I just happen to love something that I unfortunately have to keep separate from the rest of my personal live.

In that way, I am no different from many others who don’t have a partner with whom they can share their passion openly and without shame. What I do have, I hope, is the ability to de-stigmatize a fetish – and in the process get more people to be curious about it.

If men or women love to look at websites full of rubber-clad (mostly) women, and feel that it makes them a freak, well then count me in. I constantly look for new ideas, what looks good, what I may want to try myself. And, yes, it turns me on. The only difference may be that I actually do what I see in pictures, even though in my regular life, I look anything but a fetish model.

I’m just a girl, a freak, a pervert, who refuses to let society tell me what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to my personal life. That doesn’t make me smarter, braver, or in any way more special than the next person. All it does is allow me to be myself. If I can pull just a few people along to go out on a limb and do the same, if it’s their thing, great. If not, enjoy the pictures, the posts, give me a ‘like’, leave a comment, and go on with your regular life. I’m not trying to change anyone; I’m just trying to say that I am no different from any other freak of nature.

#F4TFriday