The Food for Thought Friday #F4TF theme for this week is “Words to live by”. Nothing that sounds particularly, erotic, sexy, or kinky. And yet, throughout my own life, there has been one word that has given me more joy than any other word. “…., please.”

I try to be a polite person, as many around me are. At home, I was always told to end my sentence with ‘please’, when I asked for something. I won’t blame the word ‘please’ for being a submissive. I’m sure many others have been raised in a similar way and turned out to be perfectly fine non-submissive individuals.

@deviantsuccubus just wrote a wonderful piece on brat-tamers. Doms who can handle a bratty submissive. Someone who enjoys being made to submit as part of the dynamic of a consensual relationship. I am a master (no pun intended) at wiggling out of situations only to hope that I won’t get away with it. I use ‘please’ to no end, just to prolong the inevitable. The flirty ‘please’ starts the scene, the ‘not now, please’ prolongs it, until I am finally brought to the point where I say ‘yes, please’ to indicate my agreement to continue an intense scene.

I posted ‘Anticipation‘ recently. The lead-up to what could have been a very serious impact session. What I did not write is how the session ended.

Even though I never really liked floggers, I kept begging a friend who I was going to see to buy me a new flogger. I pushed him to buy a serious one; one that could leave marks for weeks. I had never any intention of stepping outside my comfort zone, but I wanted a new toy. The ‘please’ worked eventually, and the flogger arrived in the mail.

Just holding it in my hand, I knew that it was a mistake, or maybe I should say, a challenge. I really wanted to experience the sensation from my new toy, but not without some resistance. Four strands of quarter inch hard rubber could be used to devastating impact. But now I was on the hook, I could barely bail out after asking so persistently.

When the session came, I had conveniently lined up a string of reasons why this may not be a good time to use the flogger on me for the first time. An upcoming doctor appointment, a flight back to the US, anything that would allow me to use the ‘not now, please’. Unfortunately (or fortunately), my pleading did not help.

Even as I was tied up and I was mentally well into the scene, I knew that I could only go through with it, if I was made to say ‘yes, please’. As with any new toy, particularly impact toys, going slow is essential. As one of our rule, nothing was going to happen without me saying explicitly, ‘yes, please’.

Knowing that I would have to want to feel the sting of my new toy, we started with some bare-hand spanking. We did so for a long time. I, to be honest, wanted to wear him out, before moving to more serious toys. It worked, to some extent. Perhaps more effectively than I had wished. My bottom was quite red when he asked if I wanted to try out the new toy. As much as I had wanted to earlier, I was not at the point of wanting to say ‘yes, please’.

We finished the session with some nice cool down toys, until I was released from my bondage. Part of me was disappointed. I really wanted to experience my scary looking toy, but the mood was not right — maybe I had pushed the session out too long and overplayed my hand. In the end, we had a great session, but I didn’t quite get what I wanted. I didn’t get to the point where I was pushed into submission and say “yes, please.”